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Carmel Apple!

There's this man with a bald head and a wooden leg who gets invited to a fancy
dress party. He doesn't know what costume to wear to hide his head and his leg
so he writes to a fancy dress company to explain the problem. A few days later,
he receives a parcel with a note: "Dear Sir, please find enclosed a pirate's
outfit. The spotted handkerchief will cover your bald head, and with your wooden
leg, you will be just right as a pirate."

The man thinks this is terrible because they have just emphasized his wooden leg
and so he writes a really rude letter of complaint. A week passes and he receives
another parcel and a note which says: "Dear Sir, sorry about before, please find
enclosed a monk's habit. The long robe will cover your wooden leg, and with your
bald head, you will really look the part."

Now the man is really annoyed, since they have gone from emphasizing his wooden
leg to emphasizing his bald head, and he writes the company a REALLY rude letter
of complaint.

The next day he receives a small parcel and a note which reads; "Dear Sir, please
find enclosed a jar of caramel. Pour the jar of caramel over your bald head, stick
your wooden leg up your butt and go as a candied apple!"

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